Year: 2022
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It’s a Small world after all
How to write the perfect ending? It isn’t easy. Take the drab and drabber conclusion of the last season of Line of Duty. A masterclass in how to bore your audience to within inches of death. Worse still, the clusterf*** bonfire of logic that was Game of Thrones from season five onwards. A prime example…
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Sieve-handed Roaders schooled by Ockley youngsters
Ockley Cricket Club sits at the foot of Leith Hill, in a particularly picturesque corner of Surrey. Think winding lanes and babbling brooks; think brick cottages with white eaves and timber beams; think larks ascending; think hedgerows and churches and farmhouses. At one side of the ground is a well (which might explain how the…
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Hello, great to see you.
It’s great to be back at the helm of the keyboard to detail day 211 of 2022. A day where The Road took on Cairns Fudge in an attempt to gain its first LPL points of the season. And so, the Roaders took to Battersea park, fresh from a high altitude training camp in Edinburgh,…
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Message in a bottled: the one that got away
In a land that time forgot, where the grass remains green & Pints are south of £5, the Road found themselves once more preparing to enter the field. Abinger Hammer felt a world away from the straw, dust & concrete that adorn the pitches of south London. A popular fixture on the calendar, this Saturday…
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The Lost Sea Scrolls: Slime and Length
Toss Win: Chewbacca who elected to bowl Weather conditions: Overcast with high humanity and a moderate breeze Start time: 2pm sharp. It was at this time the opening pair of Brown and Moany commenced the game. Browny bowled exceptionally for a spell of four overs, four maidens for 1 wicket. His wicket was the critical…
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Oh Deer: Antelopes get the beast of the Road
An indication of how interesting someone’s life is, is how quickly they finish the match report. Hence, mine is finished 24 hours after the match. M. Andrews, 2022. As Roaders descended on Battersea Park from various boroughs of London, we were filled with the usual misplaced optimism that accompanies the start of a new match.…
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To LPL and back: Road pull off heist of the century
We’re gonna win so much. We’re gonna win at every level. We’re gonna win with every single facet. We’re gonna win so much you may even get tired of winning. And you’ll say: “Please, please it’s too much winning. We can’t take it anymore. Mr PEJ, it’s too much!” And I’ll say: “No it isn’t!”…
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Headliner Road Show too good for Support Act(onians)
It’s festival season. You know what that means. Dancing, boozing, pingers, poppers, and touring. Though festival season can be somewhat different for us cricketing folk. But you all know what cricket season means. Bowling, fielding, wickets, sixes and dropped catches. With Glastonbury finished, the world-renowned rockstars of the village cricket circuit King’s Road were able…
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Making the best of a Bats situation
Some days you’re the pigeon. Some days you’re the statue. And sometimes, you are the statue, but instead of one pigeon defecating on you from on high, there are ten thousand pigeons. And you can’t breathe for pigeon excrement as it fills your mouth and oozes out of your every orifice until you expand and…
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The last letter of Private Christopher “Diesel” Brown. Fallen at the Battle of Dulwich
My dearest one, I hope you are well. I write to you from a field hospital somewhere near what I believe the locals call TwoTeng. I must admit I cannot fully understand their dreadful guttural language. I’m afraid I took a bit of a nasty knock in the final skirmish and am soon to go…