Hello readers, it’s been a while, how are you all doing?
Glad to hear.
How am I doing?
Thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m okay, but 4 games in 6 days, and only 12 runs, is a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.
I want you to cast your mind back 2 weeks, for on Sunday 2nd June 2024, the Octopus kindly ventured south once more, coming to enjoy a fierce Sunday game at Dundonald. Given their travels, we made sure to put on a perfect sunny backdrop for their afternoon.
Before we get onto the game (which, admittedly, is already fading into my darker storage drives) I’d like to say it was great to see the new tablet in use (*from over 3) and even greater to see bowlers, batsmen, and keepers all abusing the infancy of our digital scoring procedures for their own statistical advantage. “Byes?? No, the batsmen definitely hit every ball and the umpire definitely never raised his hand”. “Byes?? No, I definitely smacked that ball to the boundary for a vicious 4”. “Runs? No way, that was definitely our keeper shelling a catch and parrying it for 4 in the process. Even the umpire got that one right”.
So, miraculous as it may seem, we find our scorebook consisting of no runs being conceded to any bowler or keeper, with all of the Octopus’ 165 runs coming off leg byes. “I know it sounds slightly unlikely, but it was digitally scored and certified” repeated the men in Orange to the bored faces at the Wimbas Down.
Flashing back to the match itself, the Octopus captain won the toss, and after taking a moment to soak in the overall conditions, opted to bat.
Bibby and Ali opened up with some superb spells. Bibbs bowled possibly the best wicketless 8 overs I’ve seen, whilst Ali claimed 3 of the Octopus’ top 4! They put us in a great position very early on. Ali got two batsmen clean bowled and saw a one-time Road ringer Wicky sky a very high ball to the safe and waiting hands of Ben at mid-on, after a dangerous start.
Mahony then entered the attack bowling bowling some simply sublime slower balls, which took 2 wickets as batsmen played for pace that just wasn’t there. Similar in speed, but different in accuracy from the simply freshly baked pies I threw down from the other end. I learnt I brought myself on too early, so didn’t quite get an opportunity to mop up.
Chinmay was eventually his bowling wish, and determined that he wanted to set an early impression. First ball, saw their excellent number three have his off-stump disturbed. Second ball, saw the new batsmen caught at slip by a forward-diving Bibby. Third ball, a hattrick ball that, whilst it didn’t take a wicket, was in fact bowled legally, bounced only once, bounced within the tramlines, and, some might argue, went towards the stumps and was only blocked by a straight bat. Fantastic stuff and one impressively held nerve.
Keats had a good 5 over spell and during the middle of this, Andy had a spectacular run-out. Behind the stumps, he sprinted out towards square leg to gather and throw down the stumps, sending a sad number 7 back to the sideline. Impressive.
Whilst grazing at cow corner, it was also great to meet up with Rossi, who was hiding in the shade, looking on, inspecting the pitches for degrees of turn, and mostly biding his time before his well anticipated return to the pitch.
The Octopus finished on 160-9 off their full 40 overs. This was a great effort and the final partnership should take a lot of cricket, having delivered an effective, resilient and unbeaten 46 run partnership!
Whilst our fielding is at a real zenith this season, so have been the teas. This week, we’d decided to test out an Iberian theme and the Road delivered well. Whilst my highlight was of course the expertly curated Canarian potatoes, there were also an array of Sherman’s Spanish omelette, Bibby’s Chorizo Sticks, Doug’s Veggie Sausage Baps, Kinmay’s Folded Cheesy Somethings, Craigie’s orange cake. Don’t let me forget Moany’s lovely Sainsbury’s chocolate cornflakes though. A real delight, especially before they melted.
Now to our batting. A fine display of batsmanship began with an assured Sherman/Craigie opening stand. Then we had Chinmay stride to the crease and he batted his way to a classy 49 before a typical jug avoidance. Dropped once on 45, he decided to hit one more boundary before he got himself caught. Connor was unlucky to get caught off some accurate Ogilvie bowling.
Given 2024 is the year of the Doug, it’s not surprising to report that we saw a number of great shots from the master, including a couple of 6s into the neighbouring houses, before he gave someone else a go.
At this point, a remote controlled car was being driven well in excess of 40mph around the field, so several Road players had to intervene for player and supporter safety. After a few cries of naughty words and one well thrown pad, an unnamed Road player picked up the car and gestured clearly to the driver that it was time for him and his toy car to go home before things got serious. That’ll do it.
Ben batted diligently and got his eye in the middle, batting well with Chinmay and then Keats. Keats batted sensibly, finishing unbeaten on 21, sensibly reigning in the target into grasp. With the hard work done, Oscar joined Keats in the middle, eager to grasp a small chance for some cheap runs against tired bowlers to go with his cheap wickets he’s been quietly collecting.
In the end, we chased the 160 for 6 wickets and with just over 10 overs to spare. It was a well paced innings by all and we gave both sides a few overs back to enjoy the early evening sunshine. Kind work team!
After the game, we looked to enjoy the early evening sunshine, on what was the nicest day of the year so far. After a few cold cans from the corner shop, we happened to notice the freshly painted 100m* track underneath our seats.
*whilst players the following week have argued it is a 60m under-5s track, our times suggested it was indeed a full 100.
Ali was the first to answer this reporter’s call for a winner-takes-all race. But soon after, there were 8 men on the starting blocks. A kind father and son nearby counted us in, with some false starts from those later claiming podium finishes.
The 100m had some real ebbs and flows, but was always set to end with a bang. Not only did a small child decide to adjudicate the finish sequence, he decided to do so from the very finish line itself, wandering from lanes 1-8 as we crossed. Luckily, it wasn’t his first rodeo, so he skilfully navigated the 650kg of crossing racers with barely a sweat breaking.
As the footage will show you, the runners and crowd were worrying about the wrong person, for no sooner than Ali’s scaled skin got within slivering distance of the finish line, had Ali decided to disappear into the long grass. I don’t believe snakes have kneecaps, but were a kneecap would normally be found, Ali’s skin had swollen somewhat, presumably storing the small bird he had inadvertently eaten whilst sliding through the long grass towards the rope finish.
Unconfirmed final podium standings were Moany (gold), Ali (silver), Oscar (bronze). Yet, Moany was still not satisfied with his performance and asked for a 400m race, which he proceeded to easily lose. In a final effort to settle things, the Road fell back on a classic sport, which stems from the very first Olympic Games held back in 1901 BC: the wrong-arm cricket ball throw.
After some rather ‘mixed’ efforts from the squad, Dougie walked up, stood stationary and showed off the power of those shoulders. Far surpassing any current flags, he looked smugly on and awaited his medal. But wait… What was that? Was that a hiss? Out of nowhere (well out of that very same long grass where he’d been digesting the bird), Ali dragged himself up and proceeded to out chuck even Doug. It was lucky that neither of the two of them decided to use anything other than their one dedicated muscle, else we’d still be searching for the ball. Neither of them were invited into the final wrestling event.
We look forward to playing the Octopus next year and have put in early hints of a desire to visit Ally Pally!
Awards:
Embarassing: Moany’s purchased teas and awards performance.
Champagne: Andy’s throwdown to 1 stump from square leg (as w/k).
Teas: Andy’s Spanish Orange Cake (beating Bibby’s Chorizo Sticks in the Teas Final).
MandyOfTheMatch: Chinmay (49 runs and 7-1-11-3) gaining a whopping 10 votes!