BazBall got you by the… well balls I guess? Trigger finger itching to be raised quicker than Steve Bucknor? Look no further than the Kings Road.
You’re probably asking myself “But why should I join this group of cricketers? They are no different than any others and I am clearly much better than them and should be scouted by the ECB any day now!”
Well you have stumbled upon a lovely team for the brief time you won’t be scouted by England but why not let members from many different years tell you. May I present the winners of 2023’s End of Season Awards to speak as to why this is actually the best club in London and all other clubs are quite smelly and shouldn’t be played for.
All were asked their favourite memory at the Road, what they like about the club and their aim for the season.
First up – Richard ‘Beelzebub’ Bibby – Player of the Season
Memory:
When Fergus said how nice it would be to be Vladimir Putin
What I like:
The fact that none of the answers I considered for the first question were about playing cricket
Aim for the season:
Avoid the subs arrears list all year
Most Embarrassing Moment (also a genuine club legend) Jamie ‘Will abandon child for cricket’ Keating
Favourite Memory:
The maiden win of my first campaign as captain. After a lengthy wait to kick off my captaincy season (due to COVID), we eventually played THAT match Vs Antelopians in July. Followed by a wash out at Great Missensen and a losses to a good Leatherhead team and a bad Alba teanlm I wondered if the win would ever come! A fabulous team performance in exhausting heat against SBCC at Turney Road followed. We piled on 256 batting first and I managed to compile a Captain’s 50 on the way to victory. We blew them away with the ball and the team drank by the pitch late into night!
What I like about the club:
The diverse collection of people. A random group from different walks of life / ages / backgrounds / cricketing abilities come together beautifully to play competitive(ish) cricket and all play their part in contributing something to a really enjoyable atmosphere off the pitch.
Aim for season:
Be less of a “Backseat Driving B@st@rd” for the new skipper.
Teasmsker & Keeper of the Year – Andrew ‘I hate cricket’ Craigie
Favourite memory: Scoring my first Road 50 last season
What I like about the club: The welcoming nature and that everyone is encouraged to get stuck in and given a chance
Aim for the season: Runs runs runs!
Bowler, and Champagne (and also best All-Rounder the Club has to offer because Moany doesn’t proofread and this will get posted) Chris ‘Nurdler’ Brown
[Editors note: yes Moany does proofread all posts and this is a highly offensive and belligerent comment]
Favourite memory: Hitting 27 off 7 balls with the girlfriend on the boundary. She wasn’t watching but it still happened.
What I like: it’s the team. Different XI every week but everyone is so great and a joy to share a field and a beer with.
Aim: Keep the crown but also, I’d love a 50!
Unsung Hero – Michael ‘The Paper’ Rossi
Memory: As I can only remember recent events then it would have to be against Thames Ditton last year when their overseas player, one Reinhardt Engler, was whacking everyone out of the ground (inc. myself!) but I eventually beat him with flight and guile and the quick hands of Craigie behind the stumps. And oh what a send-off from Craigie
Like about the club: The fact that I’m so well respected as the most senior player…no, fuck that, it’s the bantz
Aim for coming season: to get lifts to/from nets as required as it’s in such a silly place
Fielder of the Year – Connor ‘21st Century Homer’ McGilligan
Fav Memory
Winning the LPL final is up there as a highlight, but it’s just beaten specifically by Tom Birchs enthusiastic response to us winning the LPL final.
Birchy got out after a long stint in the middle and I replaced him. As he came off exhausted and with only a few overs to go I think he thought we had chucked it.
PEJ, Moaney & myself kept the scoreboard ticking and in the course of a few overs we only needed a few runs to win.
At this stage I noticed Birchy was on the sideline, shirt off, going Bananas at what he was watching. He wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Hollies during an evening session, but he was stood in a Wimbledon park absolutely going for it, keeping us charged up.
By the end I think he collapsed in joy after I hit the winning boundary & then ran onto the sqaure to celebrate. Winning was great, but that was memorable
What I like about the Road
I love the easy going, not too serious, chirpy nature of everyone at the club. Right up until the moment when we could be winning and then it all gets serious. A lot of people at the club are talented players in different ways and there are times when we play as a properly dangerous outfit.
Then after an over or 2 someone trips over themselves running a single, Bibby summons a demon after a drop or there is a loud fart from Mid-On and its back to messing around again
My aim
I havent hit a 50 for the Road yet so that’s the target for this year. That and to also develop a consistent Off-Side shot that works for me. Maybe a catch or 2 would be nice also
Most Improved & Roader of the Year – James ‘Cutest man in cricket’ Murray Wood
Favourite KRCSC memory
I joined the club in 2020, so had a somewhat disrupted introduction with no winter nets and the start of the season delayed for a few months. Finally making my debut in mid-July, I was inducted into the Road with a delightful batting collapse (26-6 at one point), and us losing in such quick time that we were able to then squeeze in an additional 10 over match, which we also lost convincingly. It was at this point I thought: “Ah – I think I’ve finally found my people.”
What I like about the club
Anyone who has perused my Play Cricket stats will be fully aware that my cricketing ability is somewhat limited. I was nevertheless welcomed into the Road with open arms, and was delighted to be awarded Most Improved this year. It just goes to show that if you too put enough effort into diving over balls in the field, then anything is possible.
My aim for the coming season
I have my first child due at the beginning of April, so my aim is to play more games than Keats did in his first season of fatherhood (I think about 75 or so?). Failing that, I’d like to stop being such a cheapskate and break the cycle of buying second-hand or budget bats.
Batter of the Year – James ‘I love Miley Cyrus’ Pinkney
Memory: Batting on one leg at the wood bowl, have Jim Moony run for me so and yet still hitting 80
Club: The club is a glorious amalgamation of questionable humans with a completely flawed love of a ridiculous game… and the sheer amount of utter nonsense completely un related to the game
Aim for the season: Not to have to bowl. Should probably hurry up and actually work out how to get out of the 80s before the body gives up as well.
Reporter of the Year and also the captain – Peter ‘I will attack everything’ Jackson Eastwood
It is one of the LPL Final – the most exciting game I have ever played in, the first win against the Butterlords with the Shermer six wicket haul, or it is my 50 in front of a baying Battersea 2 crowd in 33 degrees
My favourite thing about the club is that every week something hilarious happens and that I genuinely enjoy spending seven hours standing in a field with everyone in the team, apart from Rossi
My aim for the coming season is to take 10 wickets
Finally Newcomer of the Season Matt ‘Leading wicket taker for the club’ Small
My all time memory may be my lap after my 200th (even though the LBW 199 was my favourite of that spell)
My favourite thing about the club is the fact we’ll let you do what you want to do, bat, bowl, just hang around in the field, with very little judgement
And my goal (as it always is but especially this year) is take more wickets than you Brown.
Well done if you’ve read this far dear reader. I hope it shows why you should join this club. But why not find out for yourself, come to nets and then to the pub.