LEGENDARY skip Raju “Che” Mazumder has shown it’s not only his captaincy that’s revolutionary – by leading an uprising against Battersea Park’s authoritarian regime.

The Orange Caps’ leader was forced to mount his campaign after agents of the crypto-fascist Wandsworth Borough Council tried to charge him for using the park’s nets.

Brave Mazumder refused to part with hard-earned cash, arguing that the land on which the nets were built belonged to the citizens of the nation – and not the capitalist elite.

The state apparatus wanted to force a £3.50 fee from Mazumder and his King’s Road comrades before they were allowed to exercise their right to play cow corner slogs and bowl a mixture of arm balls and slightly slower arm balls.

An indignant Mazumder said: “The steel used to hold the nets up was forged by a worker. The net itself was woven by a worker.

“These nets were built by the people, for the people. The ruling minority want to prevent the majority from taking what is rightfully theirs.

Red-faced

“In place of the old bourgeois society, with its classes and class antagonists, we shall have an association, in which the free development of each cricketer is the free development of all cricketers.

“The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have nets to win. Cricketers of the world, unite!”

A range of posters featuring the maverick leader are expected to adorn walls of student bedsits and his image will soon be emblazoned on T-shirts worn by deluded middle-class undergraduates who have never heard of him.

KRCSC News was unable to confirm reports that Benicio Del Toro is set to portray Mazumder’s struggle against the council in a two-part biopic.