*CB here. I would like to first off note that those who know me are aware that I can be quite a bitter and grumpy individual at times. This game did not help that and I therefore make no apologies for the below. Please enjoy.*
The weather was very windy but the ground was pretty dry considering the deluge that had happened the day before. Toss – won, which was a shock. Especially to CB who has lost a fair few this year. He decided to bat first despite telling everyone he would bowl first.
The first slight clue to the fact that the game could get a bit… spicy would come soon after when the Road were getting their pads on. The Fudge skip came over and announced, “So Martel is pretty quick, you might want to put lids on when you go out to bat.” Not usually something you want to hear before batting, but really, how quick could he be? It’s only social cricket, the Fudge know the level we both play at… Cue Smally cackling with delight whilst sitting down safe in his tailenders spot “I’ll stay 11 thanks skip!” Everyone looked up in time to see Martel, a nice chap recently arrived from Jamaica, bowling off about 5 paces to warm up with the keeper stood a long way back and still struggling to catch it…
Patz & Pinkney opened up, Martel walked out about 10 paces. Wills were signed. Martel ran in and bowled. Or at least we think he did, one second the ball was in his hand, the next it was in the keepers and Patz was still getting through a defensive shot. That happened for the rest of the over, the keeper got further and further back, Patz took one to the arm that raced away for a bye – Pinkney didn’t run all that fast for that one. Weird.
2nd over, left arm leg spin which could be taken apart. Good
3rd over. Martel back on, still bowling quickly. Bad.
Patz didn’t survive this over and saw his stumps demolished. PJE strode to the crease, one Yorker later, a ball that ripped leg stump out of the ground; PJE strode back to the boundary. Enter MAndy on a hattrick ball. Straight onto his foot. Ouch. He was also to fall to the speed of Martel and then subsequently go home because his foot was fast turning purple. CB had taken over umpiring duties at this point and asked the Fudge captain politely what he thought he was doing bowling Martel, only to be told, “Sorry mate, didn’t realise how quick he was. He’s coming off after this over.” Which is all well and good, but you did tell everyone to put a lid on beforehand, he’s gone for 0, taken 3 wickets and caused an injury to the most handsome man in South London, some would say the damage was already done!
A decent partnership was then put on between Pinkney & Fergus of 70 runs, with a number of lovely shots played by James and a number of balls smashed by Fergus, until he was to fall for a well-batted 18 with the scoreboard showing a slightly healthier 73-4 instead of 7-3. Sherman the next to enter the cauldron, unfortunately he couldn’t get settled and saw himself caught for 1 with the total at a slightly concerning 89-5.
The bear came to the crease next, unluckily for him Martel had also made a return at this point. Bowling spin, so a bit slower, but still not exactly snail pace. He played some decent shots, smashed one ball for a lovely four but was eventually to be bowled by Mr Martel for 9. A side note that Pinkney was still holding up one end and had actually managed to get over his jug avoidance and clocked up a 50. Bravo!
Now for a bit of cricket that almost saw an intergalactic war! Oscar – really nice guy – Newlove came out to bat and was immediately faced with a barrage of “banter” from a guy named Oli Dobbs who knew him from the hockey scene. Dobbs by name, Nobbs by nature. It takes a fair bit to get Oscar worked up owing to the fact he has 4 hearts and a resting body temperature of -73 degrees. Yet Oli managed it. It wasn’t good banter, it wasn’t funny, it was remembered when Oscar came out to umpire and quite correctly repeatedly no-balled him for a back foot misdemeanour to which the Fudge & Oli especially did not take kindly. But them be the rules. Sadly Oscar was also to fall to a decent bit of Caribbean spin which saw Martel pick up his 5thwicket for the Fudge… good ringer, fair play.
Raju held out for a few overs with Pinkney – he was still going – before being bowled for 1, Smally also batted well against a tough spell from Moses, who I’m surprised didn’t bowl more, before falling to a superb slower ball that had more jag in it than the Rolling Stones. CB as last man only faced one ball before an understandably tired Pinkney pushed at a slow one and eventually fell for 79. The total was 167, the 2nd highest scorer was extras on 48. Bowling to be done.
Tea – eaten.
Bowling time. 167 was actually a pretty decent target all things considering.
* Little aside here, during the 1st innings 2 of the Fudge players, one at drinks and the other helpfully as I was walking to the crease, accosted me and enquired as to as they had had to bowl slowly whether I was going to be bowling off only a few paces as that would be fair. Now don’t get me wrong I’m flattered that they think I am as quick as Martel but I told them that would not be the case. But it was nice to have a chat, especially when I was walking out to bat.
After witnessing young PJE’s masterful captaincy at Albamorphics of opening with a combo of pace and spin, CB did just that. Handing over the task of opening the bowling to Newlove & Small. Mr Oli Dobbs of previous innings infamy rushed over to the Fudge’s umpires at this point and asked to swap so he could umpire. Surely not to act in any vindictive manor I hear you ask? Alas dear reader Mr Dobb’s morals were indeed as murky as a crystalline candy for no sooner had he started umpiring than he wided a ball the batsman hit, gave Oscar chat, and Oscar gave it back. PJE joined in, then Sherman stepped up. People suggested that others were to “See You Next Tuesday” which really has no place in the game. Yet he did hand Oscar his first wicket, a well bowled LBW, so that’s good.
Two more wickets were to be claimed by Oscar before he was taken off. Both bowled. Both superb balls. When he’s pumped he’s a dangerous bowler to stand in front of! Smally had been bowling well at the other end and was unlucky not to take a wicket.
Oscar’s 3rd wicket, got at the end of his spell, had brought Martel to the crease. All-rounder or just a bowler was yet to be figured out. Possibly because of this, 1st change Jamie Keating, replacing Smally, really struggled finding his line and went for 13 runs in his over before being replaced by Raju. Raju bowled some decent stuff but balls had a tendency to miss fielders and so his 1 over was to go for 12 before he too was replaced by Pinkney.
CB had taken over the pace bowling from Oscar, his first over was against Martel. Turns out Martel can hit a ball a long way. CB’s first over was pretty much just in the slot to him and he was dispatched for 24 – there was a lot of head shaking between overs from the skip. Especially as Pinkney kept him pretty well tied down at the other end, that little Northern legend. With a deep sigh at the top of his run it was time for over two of CB vs Martel. This one went slightly differently as he was trapped LBW first ball. Result!
Little bear smelt Fudge.
Enter the oppo captain. Without helmet – CB not as quick as Martel clearly. The next few balls as follows were three yorkers, all well kept out, followed up by a bouncer that came to roughly shoulder height and was deflected up and into the waiting gloves of Sherman. As he was leaving an exchange of “Come on mate I’m not wearing a helmet” was said by the Fudge skip. Now the bouncer wasn’t sent down with the aim to harm. It is a legitimate ball and clearly worked. They have seen CB bowl before and are aware he can bowl a bouncer, so perhaps a helmet may have been a smart idea as just by not wearing one you cannot then expect a wicket taking ball not to be used. 126 – 5, the Road were pumped and CB & Pinkey were bowling very well.
2 more wickets to fall to CB, one a C&B that he almost ran past which is weird as he doesn’t really have a follow through, the other a plumb as you like LBW from a man who jumped across and in front of his stumps in a shot more akin to French Cricket. Pinkney bowled very well but didn’t get the wicket he deserved after an audible glove to the keeper was given not out.
The 8th wicket partnership of Milne & Mackie batted well against tough bowling and guided the Fudge home admirably. 169 – 7 off 25.4.
It’s a shame that such a traditionally tight fixture was unbalanced on this occasion. The Fudge are already a good side, so let’s hope the return fixture is more even.
Full scorecard here: http://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/4064648
Awards:
Embarrassing: Keats getting the yips
Tantrum: Oscar
Champagne: CB bouncer
Man of the Match: James Pinkney, The Rock of Gibraltar