Beaten but not broken – the King’s Road 2010 Tour XI returned from sunny Devon winless, but with plenty of tales to tell.

First up, The Road took on the might of Malborough Moonrakers CC on a picturesque ground with a stunning 360 degree vista.

As the tourists rocked up on Saturday, Malborough must have thought they were facing a real heavyweight side from the big city.

The Devon tour party, led by beefy club captain Matt Cocken, looked chock full of big-hitters – including Raju Mazumder, Jamie Keating, Amir Alipour and Richard Peralta.

Even stalwarts David Hughes, Leon Watson, and club founder Dan Howard looked ready to pound into the opposition and rack up a fat score.

They were joined by a lean, mean Kevin Pittaway, late call-up Daniel “The Sherminator” Sherman and another newboy, Jamie’s brother Jack Clements.

But as it turned out the Moonrakers and King’s Road were a world apart in ability – with the Devon side romping to victory by 125 runs.

As the Moonrakers racked up 215 in 35 overs, only Rich got something to write home about taking 2 for 31 off 7.

Kev got an early wicket caught behind by Dan. And Raju reached over with his rapier-like arm and used his famous spinning finger to grab one snaffled by Leon.

After that though it was all downhill in Devon. The Road collapsed at the crease for 90. Only Daniel put up any top order resistance, using the pull to stab away at the locals with a sweet 34 off 35 balls.

Then Rich – the only other batsman to make double figures – managed 16 not out at the end.

The Road were hammered, smashed so badly that going into the next day’s match they must have suffered a real hangover from being bashed blotto.

Captain Matt elected to bat first against Stoke Fleming CC, and went in to open with Leon. The rot continued though as he chipped one up to be caught first ball of the innings.

It wasn’t a good start playing Giles Fagan’s old team – in fact it was awful. But then in marched local lad Gilo, as the home side muttered “there be some Stoke Fleming in him”.

And if that means a dazzling ability to up the run-rate then there is Stoke Fleming in him; Giles smashed his way to a quickfire – and much-needed – 30.

His innings came off just 32 balls and included 7 fours.

Leon meanwhile had been blocking up an end, somehow keeping out the attack with a series of leaves. It wasn’t pretty.

The partnership looked promising until Giles fell holing out as he tried to use the sloping Stoke Fleming pitch to score more quick runs.

Rich followed soon after stumped for 4 as he was caught napping when he went for a drive. He tried to play it safe but found his defence unlocked.

The big man was so distraught when he got back to the boundary he collapsed on Matt moaning that he’d spermed (sic) the opportunity.

Leon meanwhile had been blocking up an end, somehow keeping out the attack with a series of leaves. It wasn’t pretty.

Next up was Daniel.

After the previous day’s innings, when Daniel was the only one to take advantage of the locals’ hospitality with his superfast run romp, The Road must’ve thought he was Sher-main-man.

But overnight something must’ve changed.

This time Daniel played like he had something on his mind. He just fumbled around at the crease before he withdrew from a shot and the ball sprayed up into the grateful arms of a local.

He’d scored a single in a brief innings which lacked all the thrust of the first, lasted just three minutes and was far too genital.

In the end, Daniel did the gentlemanly thing and walked – although the journey back to the clubhouse must’ve been awkward.

He got a clap, but his teammates were left wondering wort (sic) happened. Maybe he did it in jesst (sic), but only he knows what really happened in there.

Leon meanwhile had been blocking up an end, somehow keeping out the attack with a series of leaves. It wasn’t pretty.

David Hughes joined him and immediately set about blocking up the other end, somehow keeping out the attack with a series of leaves. It also wasn’t pretty.

The pair put on 34 in what Welshman Dave later described as the “most boring partnership ever”. It was finally broken when Dave’s stout defence was breached and he was bowled for 11.

Leon meanwhile had been blocking up an end, somehow keeping out the attack with a series of leaves. It wasn’t pretty.

Jamie K came to the crease and soon after Leon’s marathon last stand was broken when he chipped one back to the bowler.

In total, Leon – whose hero is legendary bore specialist Geoffrey Boycott – had batted for 33 dull, dull overs and fell just an over and a half before the end to the relief of everyone, including himself.

It really wasn’t pretty.

Meanwhile, Jamie sparked a late flurry – blowing chunks out of the bowling to hurl a brief 24 in 25 balls before he too bungled on the last ball.

Kev was out for the second first ball dismissal of the innings and, as always, Amir – who turned up late in the innings – was left not out on 1.

With just 117 on the board the score looked disappointing, but it was The Road’s highest on tour total and gave them something to bowl at.

Of course, it wasn’t enough though – and Stoke Fleming knocked it off with ease.

Two games in two days had taken its toll on The Road and the team offered a lacklustre display in the field.

Highlights included 3 wickets for Kev to make him the top bowler on tour, wickets for Matt, Leon and Jamie and a stunning direct run-out, the only good bit of fielding all day, thrown in from the deep by the skip.

There was also a comedy piece of fielding from Amir – who managed to run AWAY from the ball as he fielded on the boundary – that shouldn’t be forgotten.

Stoke Fleming finished 7 wickets down but the chase was more than comfortable against a side wilting in the field.

The Devon tour ended in two defeats for The Road, but they had salvaged some pride.