“War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing,” as Edwin Starr sang.
“Warman! What is he good for? Taking five wickets for 15 and destroying King’s Road’s chances of victory in a T20” is a bit less catchy but, tragically, quite accurate. As was his bowling.
The Orange Caps self-destructed as batsman after batsman fell to Pete Warman’s innocuous-looking but apparently deadly deliveries.
Batting second and chasing 157, the Road were never really in contention.
Badgers are nocturnal animals, so perhaps they had an innate – perhaps unfair – advantage fielding second in light which began as gloomy and was close to pitch black by the time the 20 overs were completed.
Maybe we should call you the Battersea Burgers https://t.co/MTDAB8nHom
— King's Road Cricket & Social Club (@KRCSC) June 1, 2016
John Malsingh opened the batting with Sham de Silva and the pair put on 12 before Mally was trapped LBW for 5.
The Orange Caps started to build momentum as Jamie Williams joined Sham at the crease, the pair put on 42 before Williams hit a return chance back to bowler Dollimor for 21.
After that, things went rapidly downhill as Warman’s bowling bamboozled a series of hapless batsmen.
Richard Harper was bowled for 1, Chris Brown was caught for a golden duck, while Jamie Keating and Dan Sherman could only last two balls before they too fell to Warman.
The Road collapsed from 54-2 to 57-6.
That became 64-7 as David Hughes, having watched how his predecessors had fallen to Warman, played an agricultural heave across the line that came nowhere near the ball, leaving it to continue onto the stumps.
Wickets tumbling at Fishponds as Hughes is bowled by Warman gets 5, 64-7 off 13ovs
— King's Road Cricket & Social Club (@KRCSC) June 1, 2016
Batsmen 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 all fell to Warman in a ridiculous passage of play.
After that there was no way back for the Road, with opener Sham left bemused at the chaos at the other end.
He was next out for 22, caught by Shone off the bowling of Josh Lee, to leave King’s Road on the brink of humiliation at 76-8.
Chris MacNicol was run out for 10- one of only three batsmen to make it to double figures – to leave the road on 94-9.
Matts Cocken (8*) and Small (0*) managed to spare the Road the humiliation of being bowled out, but a total of 99 gave the Badgers a 58-run win.
Carnage as @Shermles, LBW. That over from Warman: W W . W . W. 57-6 at the end of the 12th
— King's Road Cricket & Social Club (@KRCSC) June 1, 2016
Things had looked more promising early in the Badgers’ innings, as Brown’s bowling caused trouble for the top order.
He claimed the wickets of Chris Shone, James Hamblin and Andy Thorpe on his way to figures of 3-15 off his four overs.
But having reduced Badgers to 53-3 the Road were unable to maintain the pressure as Ben Cornish and Robin Mackrell hit out.
Cornish was eventually bowled by skipper Small for 36 off 29 balls, including two sixes, with the score on 111.
Honestly guys I haven't got a Scooby where the ball is now. Gloomier than our scorecard
— King's Road Cricket & Social Club (@KRCSC) June 1, 2016
Mackrell, who blasted 41 from 22 balls and cleared the rope three times, also fell to Small with the score on 122.
That was the last wicket to fall as DP and Cloke added a further 35 to the score.
Small finished with 2-25 off his four overs, Keating’s four overs went for 23, Jamie Williams went at 10 an over in his four overs.
Two overs from Sham went for 33 as the Badgers accelerated and Cocken’s two overs went for 16.