June 5th. An auspicious day in history. 1963 sees John Profumo resign as Secretary of State of War due to a sex scandal, ‘Tank Man’ halts the advancing tanks in Tianaman Square protests of 1989, unknown date – Oscar Newlove is birthed from the lavapod on his home planet of BlaaaNiiiiiigozzz 18z7 and finally 2021 where King’s Road battled the London Itinerants CC in the colloseum of trees – the Wood Bowl @ Barnes Common.
It was a hot day for all, made hotter still by being in the eye of the storm that is the Wood Bowl without much breeze. Still, Jamie Keats is a smart captain. He knows not to burn his players out by putting them into the field first, only the dark days of the BrownOrange were such heinous acts done. WRONG. The Bear had burnt his paw on his porridge and wanted to share his misfortune with the rest of the team. Toss won, to the field we must go. Once Pete Sainthouse turned up after forgetting his whites initially… Ooops.
With The Angel still getting ready and The Devil not playing, the ball was thrown to Pinkey and the Brown, world domination was on the cards. Someone had clearly topped the locomotive up with fancy diesel for once because the first over was a good one, seeing Wright caught behind by keeper-for-the-day Smally off the last ball of the over. Not to be outdone, James Pinkney bowled Harrington, he did fire his first ball straight into the guy’s helmet though. 2 overs, 2 wickets. Naughty. CB stepped up with his 2nd over and bowled the LICCS skip. The heat did for the opening pair after that and they were replaced by Mahony and Sainty.
James Mahony has changed his action and now comes off a much shorter run up. It is very effective. He didn’t get any wickets but 5 overs, 1 maiden for 26 is not to be sniffed at. Long may it continue I say! Sainty was also bowling tightly for the first spell but with Saha and Jeffreys at the crease, two of LICC’s stronger batsmen they were going to be tricky to dispatch. The skip knew he had to think of something special as a partnership was building at this point. So he threw the ball to… himself. Nepotism alive and kicking in The Road. But it worked, Saha’s eyes lit up at 1 moon ball too many and Smally stumped him quicker than a bear snatches a salmon. Out for 48. Bravo skip, excellent decision made.
The birthday boy(?) Oscar Newlove had been steaming in from the other end and keeping the in-form batsmen tied down. He eventually got his just desserts by dismissing Jeffreys for 51 with a lovely ball that basically did everything. Michael Rossi was unlucky enough to be bowling at a time when the batsmen had their eyes in and were swinging at everything, such is a spinner’s existence at times I fear.
Sainty was brought back by Keats and a wicket was his almost immediately, caught well by the man pushing for Fielder of the Year – Peter Jackson Eas——twood. CB trundled in again from the other end, basically on fumes at this point and pushing hard judging from the noises coming on the walk back to the mark. A final wicket was his with the penultimate ball of the innings, bowled. Turns out aiming at the stumps does work. LICCs finished 217 – 7 off their 35. The Road finished hot and tired.
Fielding was done very well by The Road in what were hot conditions. This is summed up by two incidents. Dave Hughes lost a kneecap stopping a screamer at slip off of Newlove and our resident Aussie flinging himself into the bushes trying to stop a ball. Sadly he just flicked it further into the bushes but hey ho. Unluckily for him, the Wood Bowl is mainly surrounded by either trees, thorns or nettles. Moany chose nettles to dive into. He’d never experienced them before. He wont forget them.
TEA – THERE WAS ACTUALLY MATCH TEA. Set up at the bowling green across the road, sarnies, cakes, crisps, biscuits, tea and squash. There were a few teary eyes when grown men were collecting their plates I can tell you that. Mahony was very confused by the whole thing.
On to batting.
Smally and Pinkney start the affair. It started slowly with tough attritional bowling, from memory we were about 25 off 7 overs but something changed in the two gravitationally challenged opening bats. 10 overs later we were 95 for 0. And it looked like they hadn’t even broken a sweat, there were delicious cuts and pulls coming from Smally and Pinkney was just having fun creaming straight 6’s into the trees. At some point it did get all get a bit much for Pinkney’s legs and he found himself calling for a runner. (I did think Pinkney had just got hot and couldn’t be bothered but having seen his leg this week it really did look like kebab leg 2.0) Cometh the hour, cometh the Moan. Normally the moment a runner appears you expect a wicket to fall quickly but this wasn’t the case. Smally, Pinkney and Moany were together for a long time and a good time. When Pinkney raised his bat for 50 (which was great to see) Moany raised his too (which was tragic to see). The total was at 99 before Smally eventually fell for a well batted 31.
PEJ came in, told Moany to leave his advice to himself and set off aggressively striding up the crease to everything. The amount of limbs being used were clearly off putting to Pinkey who finally fell for 86, impressive with only 1 leg. Good stint too Moany. Back to just two batsmen at the crease with PEJ and Andy Craigie. Next to fall was PEJ, caught behind. Enter Newlove (he finished with a strike rate of 194 so you can case how it went). Craigie absolutely middled one, unfortunately he found the fielder again. As PEJ kindly stated later – pitching covers, hitting covers, no run given.
Keats came to the crease on the back of an excellent season with the bat so far. This was not to follow suit as he was bowled for 4. He’ll be back soon no doubt. Dave ‘1 knee’ Hughes didn’t feel the need for a runner but the pain also caused movement issues as he was dismissed quickly. 174-6 at this point and the overs were getting tighter.
Oscar and Sainty stepped up getting the total to 201-7 before Newlove knicked one behind for 38 off 18. Busy day for keepers. CB joined The Angel but very shortly after Pete was caught, 203-8. Moany back at the crease but this time actually batting. Nerves were present for the tailenders but they stayed strong with some good running and shot selection. With a mere 2 balls remaining CB smashed one back over the bowler’s head for 4 to win the game and let out a Ben Stokes like shout of celebration. Moany thought we were tied. Took him a few seconds bless him.
A very enjoyable game that went the distance. Well played by everyone. Oscar had brought many ales along and these were consumed long into the night. Some of us even found our way for a celebratory curry in Wandsworth Town!
AWARDS
TANTRUM
CB got edged for 4 via a streaky snick to fine leg. Keats advised him to bowl offside. He was politely informed that the ball was offside.
EMBARASSING
Moany diving headfirst into nettles
CHAMPAGNE
Pinkney’s glorious straight 6
MOM
James Pinkney: 1/23 & 86 (Also coined the phrase Dirk Moanes)
FULL SCORECARD: https://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/4852761
Author: Christopher Brown