Category: All Posts
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The Secret Match Report – It’s Coming Moans, It’s Coming, Wicket’s Coming Moans
Sunday 11th July 2021 – a day that will live, in infamy. Some people may have had certain expectations leading up, but to everyone’s dismay, Mandy wasn’t going to abandon his allegiance to the Ingurland ultras, Moany wasn’t going to order SLOIME to a clubhouse, and Dave Hughes wasn’t going to reveal what he wears…
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Road pummel Abinger but lack Hammer blow
King’s Road’s trip to Abinger Hammer CC threw up a string of moral quandaries. How do you balance striving for victory with being fair to the opposition’s junior players? Is it fine to spend most of the afternoon doing silly German accents? Above all, should you under any circumstances reheat a sausage roll in the…
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Lincoln Tour Report: You Reepham What you Sow
Genesis 1: In the beginning, Keats created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Keats moved upon the face of the waters. And Keats said, Let there be light: and there was light. And Keats saw…
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Mostly Harmless: Except for the Scooter “Incident”
Having first played the Unabombers in late September last year, we were able to blame our swift defeat on our unfamiliarity with the cold and eagerness to get off for a final indoor curry before the 14th wave caught up with us. However, our return fixture in June at our home fortress Haydons Road (where…
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Paddington Rabbits mix up The Road’s well marma-laid plans
There is a plaque on the pavilion at Battersea Park commemorating the first ever game of association football, supposedly played there in 1864. Much has changed since. Back then, Queen Victoria was on the throne and America was fighting a civil war. The power station that now provides the backdrop to our Battersea games and…
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KRCSC vs Roehampton Bats: Welcome to the Scrap Yard
Firstly, I’d like to thank none of you rotten individuals for completing match reports in a timely manner. It’s noted and I consider it highly offensive. Take note of the 24-hour window this was delivered in. Moving on….a muggy day was greeted The Road as the Keith XI comprised of a couple of cricket players…
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Fire in the Engine as Road dispatch South Bank
There was something in the air at a grey Dulwich Sports Ground. Quite what it was, it was hard to say, but everybody rocked up feeling a little giddy. Charlie Twyman turned up with a fresh haircut that made him look like a medieval princeling. The lesser spotted of two trees, Marky Mark Isham, made…
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Gardeners World: Tired Road turned over in green field site
Ah, summer thyme – sunshine, green fields, batting collapses, bowling heroics, dropped catches, teas, drinking straw-coloured bitters as the shadows extend, discussing US politics with a pig into the early hours. Our early May match against the Gardeners CC would deliver most, but not all of these quintessential hallmarks of an English summer. A new…
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WOOD you believe it? King’s Road win the Battle of the Bowl in a thriller against the LICC’s
June 5th. An auspicious day in history. 1963 sees John Profumo resign as Secretary of State of War due to a sex scandal, ‘Tank Man’ halts the advancing tanks in Tianaman Square protests of 1989, unknown date – Oscar Newlove is birthed from the lavapod on his home planet of BlaaaNiiiiiigozzz 18z7 and finally 2021…
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King’s Road’s Metropolitan Liberal Elite out-Woked in Surrey
It was a fair Sunday by the time many members of The Road took the train from London to Woking. After many weeks of rain that would give the most Scottish members of the club nightmares, the great god Helios had finally decided to get in his chariot and ride merrily across the southeastern skies.…