You know how the saying goes: One in the pink, two in the…wickets column.

So it was that a virtuoso display from the Road’s very own down-on-his-luck Lincolnite saw the Road romp home to a rare win at Leatherhead.

The sun was shining, the day was getting hotter, and ten of the gathered Road XI looked warily on as Captain Keats took to the middle for the toss. On such days, he has found the pull of fielding first in searing heat to be irresistible. Happily, he lost this toss and the Road were asked to bat first.

Pinkney and Sherman opened up, but disaster struck early after a superb delivery cut off the pitch to dismiss Sherman for 0. No matter, his day was far from finished. Cmac was next out to the middle, but he would depart to the same bowler, Hunter (great name for an opening bowler), for 1, leaving the Road teetering at 13-2 on a famously batsman-friendly wicket.

This brought PEJ and Pinkney together at the crease, two players separated by just 2 runs before the day’s play. Was Pinkney still dealing with scars of organising tour? Did he hate that the far inferior PEJ was quite so close to him in the season’s run-scoring charts? Who knows, but tensions were high after PEJ middled an on drive that was destined for the boundary, and Pinkney slyly stepped across at the non-strikers end to block the ball. Once that silliness was out of the way, the two set to work rebuilding the innings.

The pitch and bowling attack was a perfect fit for the two, both of whom relish an opportunity to get on the front foot and drive. Pinks looked fluent from the off, dropping into the on side for quick singles, and looking particularly strong behind square on the off side, guiding three boundaries to point and third man. One late cut in particular was breathtaking, as was a cover drive that was nailed just in front of square for a boundary.

PEJ was stepping down the pitch in trademark fashion, hitting boundaries through extra cover and mid-off, and timing the knickers off an on drive that even Pinkney couldn’t cut off. The pair passed a chanceless 50 partnership, with Pinks then celebrating 50 himself. With the 100-partnership looming, Pinkney finally departed to a snorter of a delivery that cut back in off a length and kept a little low. He’d made 64, and the score was a far healthier 109-3.

PEJ meanwhile was looking nailed on for a second ever Road 50, but fell for 42 shortly after, smashing the ball down the ground, which hit mid on in the chest, and then rolled down into his hands. He was comforted by his wagon wheel though, an array of off side goodness. Twyman and Field Marshal Montgomery were the new men. Monty surveyed the fielders with a sneer, he’s never taken kindly to sharing the field with enlisted men.

Twyman was busy doing Twyman things, cracking a four through the off side, then a six down the ground (the only one of the match) before skying a disgusting heave across the line to depart for 13. ‘God, that was a Moeen dismissal’ he said as he walked off. Monty was playing more cautiously, working singles down the ground and defending stoutly.

Unmesh (Meshy) came in next, but departed LBW for just 1. Bibby departed sooner still, triggered on his second ball to leave the Road again in trouble at 129-7. The collapse was well and truly on, but skipper Keats steadied the ship with Monty, managing 11 before being caught. Browny came, he barbecued Monty, who was run out by a long way for 17, and he then successfully turned down singles from 14 of the remaining 17 balls, with Rossi also finishing unbeaten on a riveting 1*. 158-9 didn’t feel like enough from 40 overs.

You might say the Road needed early wickets. You might even say they needed a miracle. But it was to no heavenly source that Keats turned. Oh no, he made a deal with the devil.

Like the evil Priest from The Temple of Doom, Bibby clasped the new cherry in his heart like the still-beating heart of one his victims. Around the wicket he came, ‘KALI MA’ he intoned, and splat went the leg stump as the first opener, Everest was clean bowled.

Leatherhead quickly rebuilt, but an ominous-looking second wicket partnership was broken, again by Beelzebib. The batsman tried to leave the ball, but his off stump was shattered, and the Road sensed they were right in this. Browny had been miserly but luckless early on, so Keats turned to the star of the show.

Given Pinkney’s commitment to his Grease-chic look when it comes to clothing choices, it will come as little surprise to our readers that, against a team with ‘Leather’ literally in their name, more summer lovin’ was on the menu. First he removed the other opener, a skier well caught by Keats at mid-on, who employed his unique Bear Clap as the ball arrived at his paws. But it wasn’t enough. You’re the one that I want, muttered Pinkney at the new batsman, and in no time, he had his wish.

Pinkney’s probed away in the fourth stump channel, the batsman flashed hard, and with the ball flying over his head for four, Sherman’s leapt off the ground to take a belter at gully. It was thoroughly deserving of champagne moment, which Sherman duly wrapped up. Bibby struck again next, frightening the umpire into submission with an LBW appeal and finishing his spell 8-3-20-3.

It was now time for the introduction of Meshy, a new addition to the Road. He’d been brought along having previously fought with the Field Marshal in the colonies (Hong Kong) and for many of the team, this was the first time they’d seen his mystery spin. He didn’t take long to strike, clean bowling the batsman with one that went straight on. Keats was excited, the Road were excited, Meshy was…too excited.

What followed was one of the most intense periods of appealing the Road has perhaps ever witnessed. This correspondent counted at least 15 separate appeals, including one that began before the ball had actually arrived at the batsman. Bibby, a man often grumbling about the lack of appealing from Road fielders, doffed his cap with respect to the new man.

Rossi was into the attack next and picked up the dogged Garton, a lovely loopy leg spinner slipping under the onrushing batsman to thump into off stump. When Meshy removed the opposition captain, caught by Pinkney at fly slip, it was a procession towards victory. Meshy’s figures were excellent: 8-4-10-2. Browny returned, and ruthlessly clean bowled the final two tailenders to prove that he can, in fact, hit the stumps.

Leatherhead were all out for 118. In run-scoring paradise, there had been some pretty ordinary batting on display, but one big Road partnership, and a superb bowling effort made the victory a comfortable one.

AWARDS

Champagne: Sherman’s screamer
Embarrassing: Meshy’s mid-delivery appeal
Tantrum: Meshy smack talking the opposition skipper while bowling at him
Mandy of the Match: Pinkney for scoring the runs, getting wickets, and taking a catch

FULL SCORECARD: https://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/4644979