Brown at both ends: Thunderous performance from Road tramples Exiles
King’s Road successfully defended 116 to win comfortably by 41 runs against Energy Exiles on a stifling day at Dundonald Recreation Ground.
Brownie’s lower-order hitting and Keating’s measured innings at number 10 steered Road to a defendable total on an outfield that zipped and pinged before a fielding performance to savour sapped every drop of energy from the Exiles.
So stifling were the conditions, that captain PEJ’s coin toss win and decision to bat was greeted with a guttural yelp from Sham, who dropped to his knees and pointed to the sky in relief. Little were King’s Road to know that the Exiles would be shunning the drinks break at 15 overs, trying to squeeze more wickets from their bowlers in the heat. Sherman and Pinkney opened the batting as the dial flicked towards 30°C in South London.
The early forecast seemed to suggest runs would be teeming, the outfield an airstrip signalling balls towards the boundary, as they took off past lumbering fielders from both Pinkney and Sherman’s bats.
Pinkney’s first over was a fruitful one, dispatching three fours, a couple of lovely cuts, and a single to their opening bowler. However, that lit a fire in their bowler, who recovered to throw down maiden after maiden and wicket after wicket in his spell, dispatching Pinkney for 12, Sherman for 10 and then removing Sham for 1.
In between the wickets of Sherman and Sham, El Capitano, who had celebrated his birthday the day before and had the audacity to bring something called a ‘Deliveroo’ to Wimbledon with him – will never catch on – made 1 before being caught out.
As Sham departed soon after, the score was 40-4. Robbo, in at 4, stuck around watchfully, picking up 16 runs as batters came and went around him, including Oscar for a seven-ball duck and then Lax as his four-ball innings came to end without a score.
The Exiles had reduced Road to 49-7. Exiles must have been licking their lips at the prospect of dismissing Road for under 100 as Brownie came to the crease alongside Brown the Younger. Brown at both ends initiated for the first time outside of Portugal. A swift partnership of 21 was made almost entirely from the bat of Brownie, who unleashed dangerous straight drives at the midriffs of elderly bowlers and lifted the ball straight over the bowler’s head for a glorious one-bounce four.
Brown the Younger saw the controlled aggression at the other end and tried to better it. The ball was, however, untroubled by Brown’s bat with some outrageous swings and misses. He eventually nicked one behind to bring Keats into the fray with the score 70-8 – a defendable total seemed a long way away, but something rumbled in the distance. Sherman’s grip on the scorebook tightened, he scurried out from under the tree and, looking skyward, produced the quote of the day: ‘I’m looking at the clouds, you dick!’
In between the next passage, those clouds finally opened up and a thundery downpour halted the Road’s lower order progress and drinks were taken.
As play resumed and rain continued to threaten to become torrential once more, Keats was stoic at one end and Brownie continued his assault. More balls were hit to the boundary with ease before he sliced one up into the grateful hands of an Exile as he departed for 30 – the biggest score of the day – hitting six fours in the process.
After 23 balls of watchful batting, Keats got off the mark with a single with Ali at the other end who found runs to keep the score ticking into three figures. A vital 22-run partnership between the two was accumulated, with six boundaries hit across the scorched turf. Keats exchanged defence for attack, hitting four fours and remaining not out on 17 as Ali was bowled on 12, with two boundaries, bringing the innings to a close.
If the Exiles didn’t feel thirsty in the roasting temperatures, they were certainly hungry as they came off the pitch happy with their 31 overs’ work. They must have been confident of ticking off the 117 runs needed to win. And if King’s Road were to defend the below-par total, they would need to be intense in the field and find a way through early.
An early breakthrough was found by already dead-cert Mandy of the Match, Brownie. Not before laughter ripped across the park as the first ball was picked up by Lax via a faceplant and tip-toed dance, a worthy second place for ‘Embarrassing moment’ secure. Brownie opened the bowling to their dangerous opener, who could only make 6 before looping one up into the grateful hands of Will B.
Ali opened at the other end with plenty of pace to ruffle the feathers of the Exiles. The next batter had eyes only for the boundary, hitting Brownie over his head for six – the only maximum of the day. A single set up Brownie to crush the stumps of Exile’s other opener as the top order were rushed into their pads.
The match was in the balance as their dangerous no.3 hit more boundaries – one big individual total seemed to be pivotal in chasing 117. However, Ali managed to find a way through his defences and past his thigh guard to bowl him out for 21. At 29-3, Exiles were looking shaky. The Road field tightened even more, stopping everything in their path.
The fielding was to become vital to dislodge Exiles’ middle order. First, a half-tracker from Will B was smacked low to Robbo’s right, and somehow he was able to dive to the ground and take a catch that looked much more comfortable than it was. The next ball, Pinkney attempted to usurp Robbo for catch of the day with a brilliant grab to give Will B a hat trick ball. The hat trick ball was played and missed to no avail before a later delivery clipped the stumps without removing the bails.
Oscar bowled from the other end as first change and was metronomic, keeping things tidier than anyone else. His four overs went for just 4 runs and forced the batter’s to target the next over from Will B. Swinging for a yorker length ball, Exiles’ no. 7 was dismissed LBW and Road had reduced them to 52-6. 117 was a wobbling mirage in the distance for the Exiles.
The match was all-but won for Road, but there was time for a lovely array of wickets to close out the innings and confirm the win for King’s Road. Sherman stumped their no. 4 off the bowling of Oscar, who did his best to move his foot back into the crease after the bails had been removed and grumbled all the way back to the safety of the tree.
Keats and Sham came into the attack to remove the next two wickets. The former tossed one up but the Exile could only find the serenely poised outstretched right hand of Brownie, who mimicked a Michelangelo fresco as he plucked it from the sky. The latter notched one on the wickets column by bowling their no.8 who had threatened to counter attack with two boundaries.
This left one final wicket to tumble. Two of Exile’s elder statesmen blocked out Sham’s bowling before Robbo’s four-ball stint ended with a runout by Oscar and Sherman, which was soundtracked by the not out batter shouting, ‘Why don’t you fucking run!?’
It was a charming way to end the match as King’s Road stomped to victory by 41 runs.
Embarrassing moment: Will B chasing down a ball to the boundary and doing a roly-poly over the ball as it trickled over for four.
Champagne moment: Sherman’s quick thinking stumping to catch their grumpy batter out of his crease.
Teas overall winner: Robbo’s pulled pork
Mandy of the Match: Chris Brown