‘Tell you what, it would be nice to show everybody that we can win a game without Browny or Mandy.’
Words heard by this reporter not once, not twice, but thrice before the Road’s latest outing against the Albamorphics was underway. Having been frustrated by the weather and mechanics of a timed game the weekend before, there was an air of confidence that a first win of the season could be in the offing.
So, could the Rest of Road XI prove that Mandy and Browny were little more than window dressing, a shiny Herculean Cherry on a chocolate brown Detective cake?
Nope. They could not.
Keats won the toss, and on a scorcher of a day decided to bat first, a decision approved by all present. There was an intriguingly younger feel to the Alba line up, including Karl ‘The Viking’ Larsson, once of this Parish in a recent Intra outing.
Smallz and Sherman opened up, with the infamous and criminally overrated Brian taking the ball at one end, and a large and bloody useful left armer from the other end. The Road made a solid, steady start, accruing nine runs from the opening five overs. Sherman had clearly taken the moniker of ‘New Cocken’ to heart, stoically refusing to hit a run from his first 18 deliveries faced.
Having made a solid start, the opening pair then…continued to make a solid start, and after ten overs were 19-0. As the run rate showed little sign of increasing, eyes began to twitch on the boundary. PEJ was pacing around becoming increasingly agitated, he’s grown accustomed to seeing out the rest of the first over one Pinkney has snicked off, while Dave Hughes started laughing manically and muttering ‘dot’ under his breath as he etched each one into the scorebook. Rossi was attending as a spectator, and employing his own unique brand of encouraging criticism to near enough everything that happened.
Slowly but surely, the rate began to rise. Smally started to show more intent, twice cutting Brian to the point boundary, before a glorious punched drive off the back foot through long off drew gasps of pleasure from the watching Roaders. Sherman was finding his feet too after his epic 18 ball vigil, starting to strike with more aggression off the back foot.
The running was picking up too, with the pair turning singles into twos and putting the ropey Alba fielders under pressure. Just before drinks were taken, another Smally boundary brought up an excellent fifty, leaving the Road 70-0 after 18 overs.
But drinks brought disaster. First, Smally was run out trying to force a single for 50 from 65 balls, before Sherman was bowled around his legs for 24 from 42. When Sham smeared a full toss straight back to the bowler for 2, the Road had slipped to 86-3.
They needed a rebuild, but instead they sent in the demolition man. Fergus Jones strode to the crease to join PEJ, who had been watching the carnage with a sense of growing horror. When Fergus smacked his first ball to short midwicket and tried to call PEJ through for a single, the onlookers could have been forgiven for turning to whichever God they pray to.
But any lack of faith was misplaced, because Fergus was in the mood. PEJ was advancing down the wicket, looking to pick gaps to take one’s and two’s (not that this stopped Keats screaming TWO at him every time he hit the ball, even if he was already halfway through his second run). but the real action was happening at the other end.
Fergus took a liking to the Alba change bowlers, blasting deliveries to the midwicket fence to pick the rate back up. Every over would see another fielder stationed in the deep, and Fergus showed skill to go with his power, precisely finding the gaps to plunder more fours. Alba sent for their opening left armer, but he was treated with equal disdain by Fergus, who stepped onto the front foot to loft the ball back over his head. The bowler responded by pulling his length back, and Fergus simply rocked onto the back foot to blast another glorious four down the ground.
A partnership of 66 was eventually broken when PEJ was given out stumped for 19, a highly dubious decision later agreed to have been a no ball, as the keeper gathered the ball in front of the stumps. Umpire Smally clearly struggling to forgive being snubbed for Intra. Over 32 then descended into chaos. Dave Hughes fell on his sword next ball, clean bowled trying to hit the ball for 12. Oscar was next, reluctantly elevated up the order. He skipped halfway down the pitch to his first ball, 4. He did the same next ball, 2. When he tried a third time, he swung himself off his feet, and while lying in a heap was bowled for 6.
Fergus went to a magnificent first Road 50, before being bowled for 52 from 45, a thoroughly justified Mandy of the Match performance. Keats and Woody managed to run five two’s, and the Road posted a competitive 172-7 from 35 overs.
The mood was confident, and even better, Keats had a new toy to play with, Richard Bibby, a man who already has his own in-field chant.
Opening from the other end was Admiral Moany, and after spraying a few around he found his rhythm, inducing an inside edge to bowl one of the openers and claim a first Road wicket. A brilliant moment and richly deserved.
At the other end Bibby was metronomic. Bowling with pace, intent, and with every ball challenging the stumps, he had a decent LBW shout turned down (shock, Alba umpires), and various inside edges spared the opening batsman. It was remarkable to see the frequency with which balls would have hit the stumps from an opening bowler.
Somewhere, Chris Brown was screaming.
What followed was a frustrating partnership of 86. Oscar bowled gorgeously with no reward, with multiple false shots induced that didn’t draw an edge, and a chance put down by Smally at midwicket who didn’t seem to quite pick where the ball was until late.
Sham was introduced to induce a breakthrough, and bowled with guile, skill and flight. Suddenly, the Alba batsmen didn’t look so assured, and after a vicious delivery spun from well outside off to knock back the off stump, Alba were 93-2.
The Bear smelled honey. Bibby was back into the attack, also picking up a first wicket on debut, knocking back the off peg with a fizzing delivery to finish with figures of 7-3-7-1. Browny was still screaming, and in fact nominated for tantrum of the day over Bibby’s performance.
Gunter was next to fall for Alba. Oscar wasn’t paying attention, fumbled the ball, threw it wide of the stumps, and Sham somehow dived to intercept and flicked onto the stumps, much like Adil Rashid’s World Cup run out. Keats introduced himself to the attack now, and wrapped up embarrassing moment when The Viking Karl Larsson spooned a ball straight up in the air, that went straight through Keat’s waiting paws, and straight into the dusty ground. The reprieve was short lived, as Sherman then caught him off Keats to leave Alba 135-5. Game well and truly on.
Opening batsman Crewe was still going for Alba, holding the innings together, and a sharp edge off Sham just wouldn’t stick in Sherman’s gloves. Sherman made amends almost immediately though, after Alba tried a sneaky single, a sensational direct hit to the bowler’s end gave The Road there sixth wicket.
It then all fell apart rather. Fielding became sloppy, with frequent errors on the boundary. Fergus contrived to volley a ball over the rope, while Woody could only parry a catch over the bar for four on the long on boundary, but the best was yet to come.
Moany was reintroduced with Alba needing four from the last over, a superb short ball gave him a second wicket, removing Crewe for 74, caught by Oscar at midwicket. A frankly dismal wide call meant Alba needed just 3 to win, the Road agreed to give the set batsman one and try to restrict the others.
PEJ called out ‘no two’ for the batsman on strike. It was a prophetic shout, as the next ball was hit straight to PEJ. Indeed, there was no two, as he allowed it to go straight through his legs for four to end the game. There was still time for PEJ to wrap up tantrum, after Rossi mentioned his misfield for the 68th time, PEJ politely reminded him that he might not be the most appropriate person to give fielding tips, having dropped a frankly astonishing array of dollies in recent weeks.
So, heartbreak for our brave also-rans, but reasons for optimism! First wickets for the constantly-improving Moany, who looks more dangerous with each passing week. A brilliant 50 from Smally, showing poise, class and intent in a return to form. The tantalising prospect of a BEEP BEEP/Brown opening partnership, one that would trouble any player at this level. And an innings to remember for Fergus, bludgeoning a first Road 50 and giving notice that this is likely not the last.
Onto South Bank next, who must contend with an angry Bear with some rights to wrong.
Full scorecard here: http://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/4467436
Tantrum: PEJ, following excessive baiting from Rossi.
Embarrassing: Keat’s drop of The Viking
Champagne: Sherman’s bullet arm run out
Mandy of the Match: Fergalicious