MATCH REPORT: Not-so-new boy inspired by not-so-baggy Orange

A bear, a horse, a snake, a hobbit, a tree, a Small person, a bloke from Stoke and some other people who haven’t quite been categorised (yet) all undertook a magnificent journey South-west of Croydon in order to collide bat with ball for the afternoon. Unfortunately the ending of this story isn’t quite as happy as the Road would have liked it to be.

Having won the toss using what is now known as the “lucky Hong Kong Dollar”, stand-in Skipper for the day Keating opted to take teammates (Sham’s) pre-toss advice and put Beddington in to bat. Conditions overhead were overcast and the logic was that what little moisture was in the pitch may dry-out further as the afternoon progressed. Whilst the logic was correct it had little bearing on the overall result.

Prior to taking to the field new Member Nikhil was presented with the infamous Orange cap – this seemingly inspiring him to his best performance yet for the club. It was Ali and Nikhil to open the bowling for the Road. The Lethal leftie settled in for a devastating spell of bowling in which he had Opener Anson bowled for naught.

The wicket brought Nair to the crease – who was sent quickly back to the hutch, lbw, again the ball being put in the right areas by Nikhil (7ovrs,3mdns,2wkts,12runs). At the other end Tyzack was bowling in some good areas but was met by some excellent technical batting by Opener Rooke. Ali knew things were not quite going hiss way when Rooke was dropped early by Keep-Mac. 

The Snake was then replaced by the Horse, and Lewis set about trying to get the Road another breakthrough – this change brought good control and Lewis bowled well to his field. Replacing Nikhil was Marky-Mark-the tree- Isham who instantly set about building some pressure by bowling wicket-to-wicket in good areas and taking more and more pace off the ball. This is quite a feat considering the speed of his stock delivery.

Keats wanted a wicket and decided to replace Mark with the Bloke from Stoke. Rossi delivered – first ball of the spell bowling Rooke just short of his half-century (a worthy champagne moment). The other bowlers on the day were Skipper Keats and Stalwart Small – both giving their own renditions of “spiiin” bowling.

Whilst the spinners were on an effective partnership was built between young Wilkins and Second Team Captain Baker – taking the score above 100. It was left to Tyzack and Lewis to close the innings, Tyzack finishing with figures of 2-26 of off 6 overs, Beddington finishing with 148-6 off of 35 overs.

Some great performances in the field included Tom B at Point, Fergus at Square Leg (1 catch) and Sham in the deep, including a highlight where three players backed-up the same ball  which dribbled through the first two and then came to a halt a yard short of third fielder.

After an excellent tea which included hot chicken nuggets and potatoes, openers Small and Birch set about leading the Road towards what looked like a very gettable total. Small struggled to get off the mark and eventually went for a 15-ball duck.  Birch and Macnicol were then able to steady the ship and get the scoreboard ticking over, taking the score to 37 before the second wicket fell. Tom looked solid in defence – but didn’t really get any bad balls to tuck into, a worthy effort eventually coming to an end for 13 off 34.

Sham to the crease – unfortunately not for long – triggered for 10 with the score on 57-3. With the reliable Robinson heading out to bat, and Macnicol seemingly settling in for the long-haul Keats was quietly confident that the win was still on.  Macnicol however had other ideas. We’ll put it down to early season rustiness; Hit and run cricket. Goodbye Lewis thanks for abandoning your millions to get run out for One. Fergus “see-ball, hit-ball” “see-ball, miss-ball” Jones to the crease. Déjà vu, first ball slapped through midwicket, second ball stumps rearranged.

King’s Road were collapsing fast. It was down to Skipper Keats to try to steady the ship. Macnicol had other ideas – the second player to be inexplicably run out by the keeper. It appeared the Road’s hopes were diminishing very quickly. Isham was then triggered for 2 with the score on 74-7. Macnicol really needed to push on and atone for the run-outs – he didn’t. Having assumed the Cocken role for the day – he was eventually bowled for a 17 off 52.

The Road now had to salvage some respectability after the appalling collapse compounded by the Road’s Keeper Chairman. Enter man of the match Nikhil Venkatesh (C&B for 14), who played a wonderful array of sweeps, chips and drives and along with number 11 Tyzack elevated the score to 100 all out. The other notable highlight of the Road’s innings was a bout of hysterical crying in the deep from twelve year old bowler Alfie, this following a couple of dubious wides adjudged by the Road’s very own version of Professor Snape – Michael ”dry your (tiny, little) eyes mate” Rossi.

Although the Road made hard work of a gettable target, there were positives in the way that both Macnicol and Birch dug-in, but mostly the swagger and flare with which Venkatesh struck his runs. The Beddington players enjoyed a good few post-match beers with the Road and we’ll be invited back to what is an excellent club facility!

Full scorecard here:
https://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/4026398

Awards:

Tantrum: Young Alfie for his hysterical crying after Rossi wided him twice in one over

Champagne: Rossi first ball wicket

Player of the Match: Nikhil

Most Embarrassing: C-Mac (Various)