Category: Match Reports
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Paddington Rabbits mix up The Road’s well marma-laid plans
There is a plaque on the pavilion at Battersea Park commemorating the first ever game of association football, supposedly played there in 1864. Much has changed since. Back then, Queen Victoria was on the throne and America was fighting a civil war. The power station that now provides the backdrop to our Battersea games and…
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KRCSC vs Roehampton Bats: Welcome to the Scrap Yard
Firstly, I’d like to thank none of you rotten individuals for completing match reports in a timely manner. It’s noted and I consider it highly offensive. Take note of the 24-hour window this was delivered in. Moving on….a muggy day was greeted The Road as the Keith XI comprised of a couple of cricket players…
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Fire in the Engine as Road dispatch South Bank
There was something in the air at a grey Dulwich Sports Ground. Quite what it was, it was hard to say, but everybody rocked up feeling a little giddy. Charlie Twyman turned up with a fresh haircut that made him look like a medieval princeling. The lesser spotted of two trees, Marky Mark Isham, made…
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Gardeners World: Tired Road turned over in green field site
Ah, summer thyme – sunshine, green fields, batting collapses, bowling heroics, dropped catches, teas, drinking straw-coloured bitters as the shadows extend, discussing US politics with a pig into the early hours. Our early May match against the Gardeners CC would deliver most, but not all of these quintessential hallmarks of an English summer. A new…
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WOOD you believe it? King’s Road win the Battle of the Bowl in a thriller against the LICC’s
June 5th. An auspicious day in history. 1963 sees John Profumo resign as Secretary of State of War due to a sex scandal, ‘Tank Man’ halts the advancing tanks in Tianaman Square protests of 1989, unknown date – Oscar Newlove is birthed from the lavapod on his home planet of BlaaaNiiiiiigozzz 18z7 and finally 2021…
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King’s Road’s Metropolitan Liberal Elite out-Woked in Surrey
It was a fair Sunday by the time many members of The Road took the train from London to Woking. After many weeks of rain that would give the most Scottish members of the club nightmares, the great god Helios had finally decided to get in his chariot and ride merrily across the southeastern skies.…
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Oh, Mandy: Sodden Road squelch home in amp Brockley thriller
Some men are born great. Some have greatness thrust upon them. Others rock up to cricket every week and make the rest of us look ridiculous. So it was with housewives favourite Matt Andrews, Mandy (of the Match), against Brockley CC, a side against whom The Road have enjoyed several close games. In stormy…
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Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies: A journey to Eltham
As The Road awoke on a dark and wet Saturday morning the forecast was grim. However, there were rumblings that INDEED fake news was being spread, so the captain instructed the team to stand back and stand by – a game was to be had. The Road headed to Eltham and strangely arrived in non-cricket whites…
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‘Come with me if you want to win’: Shermanator/Goutanator axis vanquishes South Bank
“I’m a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a run-scoring endoskeleton.” D. Sherman, c. 2021. In scenes that bore no resemblance to the opening-day massacre at the antlers of the Antelopians in 2020, The Road ran riot as South Bank CC succumbed to defeat in a first match thriller. Rain was forecast for later in the…
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Road Blown Out Of The Freezing Cold Water By Unabombers
With the last dregs of summer well and truly drained away into the abyss that has been 2020, 22 men gathered in Banstead for some organised sport on a cold, grey and blustery final Saturday of September. Unable to huddle together for warmth due to social distancing requirements and lacking the fitness to do a…