The Telling of Ferring – The Odyssey of Oscar [Poem]

Ten King’s warriors kitted all in white, this week not playing the host,
Rose early upon a Saturday morn, to make the long trip down to the coast.
Their opponents this week a formidable bunch, going by the name of Ferring,
The location a mystery to new club members, like the inner workings of a herring.

If the cricket doesn’t work out, Boyband???

Our first stopping point on this epic quest, led by our fearsome Captain Keats,
Was a quaint little cafe on the seafront, to fuel up on carbs and meats.
Here he declared his battle plan, let slip the dogs of war,
Or more rather ensure his seamers bowl tight, zero extras and no more.

Henceforth his rabble headed onto the ground, high in spirits and merry,ย 
Further buoyed by the news upon arrival, that we’d be joined by a chap named Terry.ย 
With him regaling us with secrets of the pitch, turning out to be quite the mole,ย 
Keats for once actually called correctly, and told the oppo to bowl.

Sunny in Sussex

Sherman and Birch were our first soldiers in, armed with their boughs of bark,ย 
Although a little nick behind after 9 balls, put an end to Sherms’s lark.ย 
Murray-Wood was the next off the cab rank, into the fray once more,
Although posting a strike rate of 10.9, turned out to be quite the bore.

The watching crowd drew a sigh of relief, Woody’s stumps done by bowler three,ย 
Which brought to the crease, our eternal saviour, the one they know as Mandy.
Ball one brought blood from a right finger, the first aid box to the rescue,
Now those watching all unaware, of the carnage about to ensue.

Medic for MAndy

Birch next to fall in the 30s, Smalls going for 9 and 1,
Brought into the stage our noble leader, who posted a quarter of a ton.
Together now Messrs Mandy and Oscar, the playboys of this piece,
Striking sixes to all parts of the Ferring ground, from the perches of their crease.

Mandy bowed out on 75, with 200 now on the board,ย 
Before Lax was selflessly sacrificed, without a single run scored.ย 
In strolled our resident Aussie, his confidence all a quiver,ย 
Two previous innings of nought and nought, would hardly give bowlers a shiver.

Little did we know what was about to unfold, as Moany faced his first ball,ย 
A slash of the bat flying through the air, for the highest scoring shot of them all.
Oscar on 64, Moany 24, the Road’s total of 255,
Before Keats declared by toppling the bails, allowing the oppo to escape alive.

Looks like some recalculating was required for the Oscar Onslaught…

And then the Ferring wickets started to fall, Oscar first to the fore,
Then the Admiral sailing through choppy waters, guiding the good ship Road towards shore.
Small M and Sherms followed to hold down ends, making a loss seem quite remote,
But stubborn resistance from Ferring batters, kept the prospect of a draw afloat.

Moany didn’t last long under the Lid

Despite valiant efforts primarily from Oscar, taking a noble wickets of five,
Only one wicket separated the Road from success, with Ferring able to survive.
Oscar so clearly Mandy of the match, although a strong day had by all,
Only 4 games now to separate the Road, from a boozy jaunt in Portugal.

All’s well that ends well

Full Scorecard: http://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/4467462

Author: James Murray-Wood