Category: Match Reports
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Tales of the Sea – Part 2 of 8: From the Depths of Hell
The final days of summer brought the largest audience for a cricket fixture in England this year (39 people and 7 dogs) with The Road facing off against the Paddington Rabbits in the wonderful surrounds of North London. Incompetent tossing once more led to The Road being sent into bat on a bouncy but true…
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![The Telling of Ferring – The Odyssey of Oscar [Poem]](https://krcsc.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Ferring-Game-1.jpg)
The Telling of Ferring – The Odyssey of Oscar [Poem]
Ten King’s warriors kitted all in white, this week not playing the host, Rose early upon a Saturday morn, to make the long trip down to the coast.Their opponents this week a formidable bunch, going by the name of Ferring, The location a mystery to new club members, like the inner workings of a herring.…
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From the depths of despair – part 1 of 8 of “Tales from the Sea” (A Cairns Fudge Match Report)
After 8 long months at sea, I write this memoir from the depths of my cabin. Scurvy has long rendered me useless to this team and the most I can offer is the following collection of my thoughts. Under gloomy skies and high seas on the bank holiday weekend, The Road prepared to wage war…
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Small 5-fer doesn’t quite Hammer home victory over Abinger
“What time is the train?” – Never before have these five innocent words sent such ripples of chaos through a squad of 11 brave men. Never before have so many Saturday evenings been ruined by fear. Never before has train veteran Matt Small desperately succumbed to making up imaginary train routes simply to calm his…
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Thank Kew Very Much! Mandy & Moorjani Script Victory for the Road
Gather round and listen, all ye Roaders and kin, To a tale of good and evil, of cricket and a win… And so it came to pass that the Road, with a line-up that had Captain Keats salivating like a bear with his honey, journeyed to the leafy hinterlands of Kew. With rain threatening to…
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Plucky Road get LICCed Up and Down
Dark, stormy and bitter. No dear reader, I am not talking about Oscar’s drink of choice but instead about the actual weather. Following a week of 30+ degree heat the sun had decided to pack its bags for the weekend and venture to France like every other upper-middle class yuppie and was now seemingly trapped…
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Keats’ Perfect Road Steamroller South Bank
With temperatures in Dulwich reaching the mid-thirties (for the less youthful members of the club: that’s over ninety degrees Fahrenheit) captain Keats somehow managed to ‘negotiate’ the toss such that the Road batted first, giving most of us some valuable time in the shade. Get him negotiating post-Brexit trade deals, I say. Vice-captain Pete nobly…
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Maiden Fergalicious Fifty in vain for Battling Road
‘Tell you what, it would be nice to show everybody that we can win a game without Browny or Mandy.’ Words heard by this reporter not once, not twice, but thrice before the Road’s latest outing against the Albamorphics was underway. Having been frustrated by the weather and mechanics of a timed game the weekend…
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Runs back on the Mando’s menu at Leatherhead
As the troops congregated in Leatherhead for a second consecutive day of cricket we were immediately met with a dilemma, who had grown the better lockdown moustache Fergus or PEJ? Not much to split them in truth, both could have accompanied Muttley and not been questioned. A quick inspection soon confirmed we’d be playing on…
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Cricket returns! But Antelopians gallop past The Road
Let’s not beat around the bush, 2020 has been awful for myriad reasons, but none more serious than the postponement of cricket. I would therefore like to start this match report with a heartfelt thanks to our government and it’s leader, who shall remain nameless, for finding a way to surmount what seemed the insurmountable,…